By John Kass
May 10, 2024
As loyal readers know, an obnoxious gallbladder knocked me off schedule for the Golden Moutza the last two, tree months. How long has it been? I’ve forgotten.
The Golden Moutza was delayed, yes by a stubborn gallbladder, but now I’m back.
Who ‘won’ the Golden Hand of my civilized ancestors? The tradition of bestowing the Moutza of contempt upon the condemned dates back long before the Fall of Constantinople. It dates back long before the Democrat Party recently tried to save senile geezer President Joe Biden by relying on the testimony of a fading mercenary porn queen who nevertheless was portrayed as something of a “modest nun” by an MSNBC media high priest.
“Off topic,” writes foodie Kathleen Keating in a Golden Moutza post on Facebook. “Would you consider re-posting your lamb shanks recipe?”
Yes. Of course I’ll consider it.
But not today.
For Sunday I’m doing a cooking column on my sons and their Easter lamb (but no shanks). We’ll get to your lamb shanks, Kathleen. I promise. But today is Golden Moutza of the Month day, and we’ve lost so much time, having missed at least two Golden palms, let’s get to it.
So much has happened, what with Chicago Mayor Panic Attacks running away from reporters who wanted to question him about City Hall trying to muscle the family of slain Chicago cop Luis Huesca to let Johnson get a speaking part at the dead officer’s funeral. He was told he wasn’t welcome. Then when reporters wanted to ask him about it, he ran down the alley.
And the murderous Riddhi Patel the HAMAS supporter and leftist from California, who said she wanted to take a guillotine to the necks of the members of the Bakersfield town council, and murder them because they did not agree with her antisemitic politics. Later, after she was hit with 18 felony counts, and typical of these jacobin haters, she sobbed publicly in court.
And what of another deranged leftist, talk show host Drew Barrymore begging Vice President Kamala Harris to be the “Momala” of the United States? When Barrymore asked the question–on a couch of course–it looked as if she was desperate to breast feed.
Yeah. Ye Gods.
And there are so many more idiots out there, I am overwhelmed by the stoopids. It feels as if we’ve all been sucked into a Rick and Morty Sci-Fi cartoon.
“My moutza of the month has to go to Uncle Bosey,” writes Tom Dattalo of the president’s heroic uncle, the late 2nd LT. Ambrose J. Finnegan Jr may have been boiled in a pot.
“It’s so sad he had to have been eaten by cannibals instead of him hanging out with his nephew Brandon shaking down Ukrainian gas companies and eating ice cream,” writes Dattalo.
And like all of Biden’s Commander McBragg fabrications, the one about his uncle eaten by cannibals in New Guinea during WWII was full of bull crap, too.
“The judge in Trump’s [hush money] case—for allowing the sicko Stormy’s sex testimony to be heard in open court,” says Denise Harmantas Mikkelsen. “Oh and the DA Bragg for being stupid and political enough to bring this case to court. NAH!!!!”
Highly conflicted Judge Juan Merchan insists he’s not conflicted, even though his daughter is a Democrat political operative in Chicago whose clients reportedly raised $93 million off the Trump case alone. Judge Merchan made a fool of himself this week. And he made a fool of the law by allowing the porn star to re-enact a sexual pose from the witness stand during testimony.
Manhattan District Attorney –and Soros-boy–Alvin Bragg doesn’t care about his honor either, or he wouldn’t have brought this ridiculous case to court.
It’s not about the law. It’s a farce, about using legal muscle to smear former President Donald Trump before the 2024 elections and helping CNN and MSNBC and the rest of the corrupt corporate media humiliate the former president and rehabilitate the national strumpet. The corporate media and the leftist lawyers have indicted themselves.
It will be overturned. Lawyers who know the law, know this. And when it is overturned, the hard left Marxists in the corporate media will panic and turn to quivering goo. And I will enjoy a fine maduro cigar against doctor’s orders.
Already the left-wing media is melting down. They know what’s coming: They will lose it completely when the case is overturned. I know some of these hard left Marxists in media. I worked with them. I’m amused by their social media. They portray every conservative as fascist ghouls. They rhetorically wonder why America has torn itself apart. They know. They’re the reason the nation reaches for the tomahawks to settle political differences.
One of the true nut-balls at this party is Lawrence O’Donnell of the Jacobin network MSNBC.
The other day he described the porn star in court as resembling a modest nun.
Here’s what O’Donnell the moron said:
“The loose fitting plain black clothing draping from her shoulders to her toes suggested the modesty of a nun.”
Pardon me?
“The makeup was minimal the way she and the other moms in her neighborhood might look when shopping at the local grocery store.”
“The long blonde hair held up with a clip at the back of her head the way it might be in a utilitarian way while she was doing dishes.”
O’Donnell’s prose was overwrought, turgid and unsettlingly purple. Why do I think he has made a close study of her work?
Lawrence? Blow on this creepo. NAH!!
Vicky Iwanow Ziemba writes:
“Glad your procedure was simple, John! So, aren’t teachers supposed to be actually teaching, or demanding 100 percent free abortions? Only 26 percent of Chicago’s public-school students are proficient in reading for God’s sake! I nominate the Chicago Teacher’s Union for their $50 billion in contract demands.
“Nah! Parta! FEESAH ETHO!!!!!”
Ken Frantzen limbers his hand this way:
“Chicago Schools are rated the worst in the nation. That makes Chicago and Johnson #1. How can anything be worse than incompetence in educating kids? The media hides the TRUTH. Maybe the US Media should get the Award of Corruption and Ignorance. This is a chicken and egg issue which confuses ignorant humans. So they let corrupt politicians destroy their kids by supporting corrupt educators. Meanwhile the media is MURDERING your kids! The Media gets MOUTZA.”
Agreed.
Dino Costa votes for Mayor Johnson.
“Brandon, for jumping on the Bears Bandwagon with unknown financing and unknown cost.”
One of my favorite Moutza givers is Tom Winike:
“Moutza to North Shore leftists who curse Texas for manipulating immigration laws. That’s exactly what NU is doing by offering scholarships to Palestinians as gateways to F-1 visas. In luxurious Lincolnshire, privilege and prestige enables self-indulgent high schoolers to distribute hate literature as an upscale amusement, like fencing or water polo. Feesah Etho !”
Nothing like the privileged children of the privileged to spread hate and cast themselves as victims. That’s how you know they’re Democrats.
But when it comes to strong willed cowgirls, I admit I have a weakness, unless they want to kill my dog. And that I won’t abide.
Here comes political trainwreck South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem, who not only killed her dog, but she wanted to kill Biden’s dog too, and also she killed her Billy Goat. You want to know about a man, give him some power. You want to know about a woman? Give her a shotgun and see if she kills critters for fun.
The only Billy Goat I knew was the one Sam Sianis kept at the Billy Goat tavern, it smelled terrible, but it used to eat the cigarette butts in the ashtrays. At least it was useful. And I’m partial to Billy Goats since my Papou Pete had one at the farm in Canada. It smelled terrible, too. But Papou Pete didn’t kill it.
“King” was his name. He helped make baby goats, including my mom’s pet goat, a gentle goat named Flicka. They ate Flicka for Sunday dinner with rosamarina and tomato and grated cheese. Papou didn’t tell my mom that Flicka was on the menu until it was done.
Our family motto: Don’t play with food.
According to CBS News, Noem’s memoir in which she bragged about killing her pointing dog, also includes a reference to Commander, Joe Biden’s dog that bit 24 U.S. Secret Service officers. They’re not expendable either Joe.
In her book Republican Noem reportedly said if she were to make it to the White House, she would first ensure that Biden’s dog was not on the premises. “Commander, say hello to Cricket,” she imagined herself saying, according to CBS News.
She shot Cricket for killing chickens. She shot the goat because she didn’t have it castrated and it head-butted people. But that’s what goats do, Kristi. You don’t murder them.
And you’re not going to be vice president because, well, it would be terrible politics. There’s nothing more stupid than a politician who kills a dog and then thinks she can continue on in politics. The other day Noem cancelled what was left of her book tour. Loser.
Gov. Noem? I just lost my good dog Zeus the Wonder Dog. We had to put him down. He was sick and old and it was his time. But we did it gently just a couple weeks ago. We loved him. I wouldn’t have shot him.
Your dog wasn’t something to kill to show us you’re man enough to be president. You should have trained your dog.
Lift your chin governor, and accept this Golden Moutza from my friend Zeus the Wonder Dog. I’m hoping he’ll be waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge. Your catchy slogan about South Dakota is that “Freedom Works Here.” But this is America darlin’ and in America the Golden Moutza works here too.
And you “won.” Proud of yourself?
Kristi Noem? Feesah etho you dog killer and goat murderer.
Nah!!
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About the author: John Kass spent decades as a political writer and news columnist in Chicago working at a major metropolitan newspaper. He is co-host of The Chicago Way podcast. And he just loves his “No Chumbolone” hat, because johnkassnews.com is a “No Chumbolone” Zone where you can always get a cup of common sense.
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