Can I Forgive Sins?

Recently, my grandson approached me with a question regarding forgiveness; it went something like this, “ Danny stole my skateboard. Two days later he returned it, saying that he found it in the street by his house. If I forgive him, is his sin  forgiven?”

I thought that this was a pretty good question coming from a twelve year old, and I most certainly wanted to give him an appropriate answer. So, I did. I told him that when we forgive others, we are forgiving the person, but not the person’s sin. However, in my grandson’s mind the sinner and the sin are inseparable. So, I had to make a better distinction, as follows:

Yes, son, you forgive Danny for taking your skateboard, especially since he returned it. When you forgive Danny you pardon him for his offense against you, let go of resentment, anger, and that feeling of wanting to ‘get even.’  Your act of forgiveness is an act of kindness and mercy.  This kindness and mercy given to him, returns to you, and by granting him peace, peace is given to you. In the final analysis your act of forgiveness is consistent with loving your neighbor as you love yourself (CCC 2842) , and by granting peace to your neighbor in your heart, that peace is returned to you ten-fold.

However, as far as Danny’s sin of theft is concerned, you cannot forgive his sin because you don’t have the authority or the grace to do so. “Only God can forgive sins because only God can restore grace when grace has been lost” (Catholic Dictionary, by Fr. John A. Hardon, S.J.).

This power to forgive sins has also been given by God to His priests in the Catholic Church when God works through the person of the priest in the sacrament of confession. Looking closely at the Lord’s prayer, we can see that we are asking God to forgive our sins, as we forgive the people who have sinned against us. It does not say, “as we forgive the sins of those who have sinned against us.

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
 Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses
 as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from every evil (CCC 2759). 

In essence, the Lord’s prayer is saying the same thing, that you forgive the person, and infers that the forgiveness of his sin is a matter between him or her and God.

But here is the catch, and it is essential, unless you forgive those who have sinned against you, —that is, forgive them in your heart–then God will not, absolutely will not, forgive you. The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant clearly demonstrates this major premise: There was a servant who owed his king a very large amount of money. The king was going to send the servant and his family to prison. But the servant asked his master for mercy and promised to repay the debt. Moved with compassion, the master let him go and forgave him the complete loan. Later that same servant summoned one of his servants who owed him a lesser amount and demanded payment. His fellow servant begged him, “ Be patient with me, and I will pay you back”.

But his master refused to listen, refused to grant mercy, and cast the servant into prison. Other servants learning of this harsh treatment reported the incident to the king.  The king, in turn, summoned the unforgiving servant and said to him, “You wicked servant!  I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?” Then in anger, his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt.” Jesus then concluded the parable by saying, “ So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart” (Matthew 18: 23- 35, NAB).

So, son before you go to confession, be sure that you have forgiven every person who has sinned against you in any way, and be sure to forgive them from your heart, then you are ready to ask God to forgive your sins. And remember that salvation can be lost, if we fail to extend mercy and forgiveness, to the best of our ability, to those who trespass against us.

The intent of this article is not to reinvent the Lord’s Prayer; that would be heresy. The intent is to shed light on the mystery and meaning of receiving and giving forgiveness. The idea came to me through a conversation with another writer (not my grandson) who reminded that, “ Only God can forgive sins.” This same premise (also a fact of doctrine) is stated in greater detail and clarity in the Catholic Dictionary, written by Fr. John A. Hardin, S. J.  The second intention of this article is to remind us that when we are not willing to forgive others,  our Lord will not forgive us.

The full quotation from Fr. Harden is as follows:

FORGIVENESS: Pardon or remission of an offense. The Catholic Church believes that sins forgiven are actually removed from the soul (John 20) and not merely covered over by the merits of Christ. Only God can forgive sins, since He alone can restore sanctifying grace to a person who has sinned gravely and thereby lost the state of grace. God forgives sins to the truly repentant either immediately through an act of perfect contrition or mediately through a sacrament. The sacraments primarily directed to the forgiveness of sins are baptism and penance, and secondarily, under certain conditions, also the sacrament of anointing.