Despite records to the contrary, Stephen Colbert couldn’t sign off for the rest of summer without peddling a hoax about the vice president while donning a new kind of mask.
(Video Credit: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert)
With the permanent end of CBS’ “The Late Show” planned for May 2026, the comedian appeared to continue his career’s long, cringey drive off a short cliff Thursday. Putting his COVID response-fawning “Vax-Scene” skit to shame, Colbert donned a cutout of Vice President J.D. Vance’s face in an attempt to portray the conservative as a “spoiled-baby emperor” after a security decision regarding a birthday boating.
Reacting to the Daily Beast’s coverage of raised water levels during Vance’s family outing, alleging it was the vice president who ordered the U.S. Army Corp of Engineers to act, Colbert asserted, “This is such an insane, spoiled-baby emperor move that I have no choice but to break out my new character, Wittle Pwince Vance.”
Affecting an infantile voice after putting on the mask that included a tiny crown askew on the vice president’s head, the canceled comedian continued, “Hear ye! Hear ye, hear ye! I want my wiver waised for my birfday! Also, I don’t like how bwue the sky is. Paint it wed! Now, give me juice box.”
Once handed an actual juice box, Colbert appeared to take a few sips before tossing it, shouting, “No, not fwuit juice. Apple! Kill him! Kill him!”
Nodding to his show’s planned ending, the late-night personality took off the mask and smugly self-promoted as though he’d struck comedy gold, “Netflix, call me. I’m available in June.”
Of course, without correcting the record, Colbert turned to The Guardian’s coverage of the story about the requested “special release,” contending it was “out of the ordinary” and something done to facilitate “training for emergency responders.”
To that, the mask came back out as the host continued, “There was an emergency. I wanted more wawa for my birfday boats. Now there’s another emergency. Hello, police. I’m hungry, get me Papa Johns. He’s closed? Kill him!”
“I will also entertain offers from Amazon,” he added after failing to report the full context of The Guardian’s report that stated, “It is not unprecedented for the USACE to modify outflows to accommodate public use — for example, for use in community river events and training for emergency responders.”
Likewise, Colbert offered no mention of statements from Vance’s spokesperson, the USACE, or the U.S. Secret Service that debunked the claim, thus proving his joke to be satire based on propaganda.
“The Secret Service often employs protective measures without the knowledge of the vice-president or his staff, as was the case last weekend,” the vice president’s spokesperson told the outlet while USACE explained that the decision had been made to “support safe navigation” of the security detail and the Secret Service’s request “met the operational criteria outlined in the Water Control Manual for Caesar Creek Lake and did not require a deviation from normal procedures.”
As for the protective agency, their statement explained, “These decisions were made solely by agents during our standard advance planning process and did not involve the Office of the Vice President,” after a public safety boat was said to have run aground during a scouting mission for the trip.
The “tiresome and desperate” appeal to the left’s Trump — and subsequently Vance — Derangement Syndrome found social media users weighing in on what they suspect streaming services really think about a potential future with Colbert.
So tiresome and desperate.
— Rob D (@bigrobdd) August 8, 2025
I’m sure @netflix has probably already called @StephenAtHome since they are a politically propagandist streamer. @reedhastings
— Sweet Caroline (@SweetCa40472719) August 8, 2025
LOL, low ratings Colbert……Netflix cancels show with more viewers than he currently has. He is so done……..
— Leo (@leopotter788) August 8, 2025
“Hey Netflix, do you want to lose tens of millions of dollars annually? Call me!”
— Chertok (@coolerkdawg) August 8, 2025
lol no one is picking up his low ratings dying show……..
— Leo (@leopotter788) August 8, 2025
He’s sabotaging his own future.
— The Honorable Clayton Sterling (@Claytoncyre) August 8, 2025
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Author: Kevin Haggerty
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