dear class of 2025

A commencement speech I will never publicly give :).

Dear Class of 2025 (including my first baby, my oldest son…),

I had a whole version of this post written weeks ago. But now it’s the night before graduation, and something shifted. A moment of reframe, of reflection.

There are so many young people standing on the edge of something new right now. And while that moment is often marked with caps and gowns and celebration, the truth is, it doesn’t always look or feel like a straight line getting here. At least not for our family.

My son started high school at the height of a pandemic. A strange, uncertain time to begin a new chapter. And yet, here we are. On the eve of a milestone I once wasn’t sure we’d reach. So before the ceremonies begin, I want to pause. Take a breath. Look around. (Isn’t that how every commencement speech begins?)

Eight years ago, my nephew Finn stood on stage giving the graduation speech for his class at Burlington High School in Vermont. He said something I’ve never forgotten: “You didn’t get here alone.”

At the time, I thought it was a beautiful sentiment. But now, watching my own son prepare to walk across that stage, I realize just how true it is.

None of us gets here alone.

Every step toward this moment has been shaped by the people around us, teachers who challenged us, friends who stuck with us, mentors who saw something in us before we could see it ourselves.

That’s where the deepest kind of learning happens. Not just in books or grades or test scores, but in relationship, in experience, in the moments that shape how we move through the world.

This is the heart of something I’ve been working on for a while now, something called People-Based Learning. It’s the idea that the most lasting, meaningful, and life-shaping learning happens in connection with others.

So tonight, with that in mind, and with full heart, I want to share a little PeBL art and advice. A small offering for this beautiful, brave group of graduates. my son among them, who’ve shown us what resilience, growth, and becoming really looks like. Here’s to the journey that brought you here. And to all the people who walked it with you.

Here it goes:

1. Seek Conversations, Not Just Content

A podcast can teach you something. A person can change your life. When you’re curious, don’t just Google it, ask someone. Ask a neighbor, a teammate, a coworker. Learn their story. People carry knowledge that doesn’t show up in textbooks: wisdom, nuance, lived experience. Don’t miss that

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2. Find Your Circle of Connection

Learning is stronger in community. Surround yourself with people who stretch your thinking, cheer you on, and help you reflect. They don’t all have to agree with you, in fact, it’s better if they don’t. Find your people, and then keep the circle open. Be someone else’s mentor, co-learner, or sounding board.

3. Be the First to Go First

It takes courage to raise your hand, to say “I don’t know,” or to reach out to someone you admire. But every brave question is a bridge. When you take the risk to connect, really connect, you open doors for yourself and others. Going first does not get talked about enough, but it is such a beneficial practice for LIFE.

4. Let Learning Move You to Act

The final test of learning isn’t the grade, it’s what you do with it. Does it shift your choices? Help someone else? Spark a new idea or project? Let what you learn shape what you do, that’s when it becomes real, lasting, and yours.

5. Be a Human Library

You carry your own stack of stories, strengths, and insights. Share them. You don’t have to be a published author or a viral creator to make a difference. Just be willing to offer your time, your ear, your truth. We need your voice in the world.

Sooooo, my young friends, I am so thrilled you got here. It was not easy, and likely not a straight path. As you go forward, my greatest hope and wish for you is that you remember to learn from people, with people, for people. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re headed yet, just start by connecting. The map will grow from there.

With admiration for all you are and all you’re becoming, especially for my very deep heart of a boy,

(/mom to my boy.)