Right now, a few minutes before the sky is supposed to open up with rain, I’m serenaded by the not- so-gentle roar of a riding lawnmower outside my window. Yesterday, though, the symphony was cut short when my husband managed to feed his sweatshirt to the mower blade.
As I tried to stifle my laughter, he mumbled through a tale involving getting cold, grabbing a sweatshirt, warming up, ditching said sweatshirt on his seat, then somehow throwing the mower into reverse… and voilà, instant textile smoothie.
Fast forward to a 45-minute visit from our tech guy today and $110 in mower surgery, and my husband is once again mowing like nothing happened. Naturally, this little fiasco got me wondering: what other misadventures have people had with their beloved grass-cutting machines? Spoiler: there are plenty. Here are a few…
1. The Highway Lawnmower DUI Club
Florida, 2025: Meet Christopher Spain, a 38-year-old who decided that the “highway” part of his morning commute wasn’t strictly for cars – so he brought a lawnmower instead. Better yet, he was allegedly drunk. Florida law apparently defines lawnmowers as “vehicles,” so yes: DUI on a mower. Spain was nabbed, noticeably impaired.
2. Mailbox Mayhem: When Lawnmowers Attack
Also in Florida (big surprise), earlier this year, a mystery man in San Carlos Park launched a solo assault on mailboxes. Riding his mower like it was a bat out of hell, he demolished several boxes. Neighbors were torn between outrage and comedy. One spectator quipped about the video, “It was egregious, absolutely disgusting, but it’s so funny. I can watch it 100 times.” Another lamented, “He should be arrested and thrown in jail for driving while intoxicated on a lawnmower. Be a man and turn yourself in. You shouldn’t be doing this.”
3. Ellen DeGeneres Tries to Mow
In May of 2025, Ellen DeGeneres strode forth onto her sprawling south-central England lawn with all the swagger of a seasoned country gal – “How it started,” her Instagram caption cheerfully read – as she confidently revved up her riding mower. Alas, reality quickly dethroned fantasy: the mower stalled on the hill. Ellen morphed into a wide-eyed stateswoman of the large green hill, and before she knew it, a helpful (and presumably amused) gentleman was pushing her along – cue the “How it ended” punchline. Meanwhile, wife Portia de Rossi, wielding the camera (and giggles), captured the whole epic scene.
4. Toddler Juggling 101
West Australia, late 2024: In a viral “Dad mode activated” moment, Arron Nash faced the ultimate multitasking nightmare. His 18-month-old rolled off in a toy car while he pushed the mower. He abandoned one to chase the other – and somehow managed both. Bravo, dad – although you might want to look into a robot mower instead.
5. The Great Mower Odyssey
Let’s dial it WAY back – to a legendary lawnmower road trip. In 1994, 73-year-old Alvin Straight, who was broke and could not see well enough to get a driver’s license, decided the only way to visit his
stroke-afflicted brother in Wisconsin was by riding lawn mower – 240 miles across Iowa and into Wisconsin. He towed a trailer of supplies, fixed breakdowns (with $250 in parts), waited for Social Security checks, and eventually made it, moving at a top speed of 5 mph for six weeks. Straight even has his own Wikipedia page.
From Ellen’s viral meltdown to mailbox mayhem and legendary cross-country treks, lawn mowers have proven they’re equal parts landscaping tool and chaos engine. Just ask my husband – $110 and one shredded sweatshirt later, he’s back in the saddle like nothing happened. So the next time you hear that familiar roar, remember: behind every neatly trimmed yard could be a story of chaos, mayhem or near-disaster and someone praying the mower doesn’t eat their wardrobe.
The post When Mowers Attack: True Tales of Turf-Cutting Chaos and Misadventures appeared first on Steve Gruber.
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Author: Liberty Paige
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