In Kerr County Texas, flood-recovery volunteers begin to face their grief

Joelene Jensen and Lorraine Daniel combed riverbeds with the best of intentions. The roommates from Schertz, Texas, volunteered with Florida-based nonprofit Heal Corps to aid with search-and-rescue efforts in Texas Hill Country following this July’s deadly flooding. 

But Jensen and Daniel didn’t find anyone.

Still, they wanted to help. So the roommates turned to their shared rock-collecting hobby to express their sorrow. They hope to construct a memorial, built from riverbed rocks collected during their rescue efforts, in an area outside of Comfort, Texas, off of Ranch Road 475. It will highlight the idea that rocks and people alike can find belonging in places that Jensen described as “so breathtakingly beautiful, and yet so disastrous.”

Jensen and Daniel’s focus on the memorial allowed them to work with purpose in a trying time, something that grief experts say is important — not just for those who lived in places affected by disaster, but also for the helpers who come to town.

The pair told Straight Arrow News they hope to restore memory to the Guadalupe River and help create a healing process for the community — one that includes the river itself.

‘An excruciating month’

In the weeks that have passed since severe floods swept through the Texas Hill Country, communities are wading through the long process of grieving and recovery. Residents are adjusting to a new normal as they navigate life after the disaster. Many who lost loved ones, homes and livelihoods are seeking comfort and a renewed sense of purpose.

As trauma continues to shape the recovery process, the need for sustained community support grows. And the support process needs to be well thought out, according to Liza Barros-Lane, a social work professor and grief researcher at the University of Houston-Downtown and executive director of The Young Widow Project.

Barros-Lane likened the grief in Texas to her own experiences after her husband drowned in a boating accident. 

“Trauma floods you with experiences you’re not used to. It brings pain you’re not used to feeling. It leaves you disoriented,” Barros-Lane told SAN. Grief is a long-term process, worsened by the acute disaster-related trauma, and subsequent feelings that the world is an unsafe place.

Families are immediately affected by the acute, disorienting trauma Barros-Lane described. Cici and Will Steward’s family, who lost their daughter Cile Steward, expressed both profound grief and gratitude when processing their own experience.

“It has been an excruciating month of grief, loss, and waiting for news of our precious Cile,” Cile’s parents wrote in an Aug. 3 Instagram post, as search efforts continued. “To our Cile Bug: Our love for you is endless and boundless. We feel you everywhere and are thankful for every single moment of your brief and beautiful life.”

The Stewards also expressed deep gratitude for the support of family, community members and first responders.

How does grief affect disaster volunteers?

The ripple effect of grief cascades out even further: Those working in search and rescue operations say they also feel the emotional toll, particularly because they work closely with affected families.

Mark Fouts, president of American Regulators USA, an Ohio-based disaster response nonprofit, said his team conducted group debriefings after working on the ground in Kerr County on July 16.

“We carry with us countless stories of heartbreak, of resilience, and of the strength found in unity,” Fouts told SAN. The experience will leave a lasting impact on both responders and survivors, he said.

Fouts’s team recovered belongings from the flood, but was unable to locate any of the missing victims. 

“We feel like we came home without closure,” Fouts said, adding that he wished the broader public understood the emotional burden carried by first responders.

According to Fouts, recovery work can bring relief when responders are able to return remains to loved ones. But even in successful missions, the emotional weight can be difficult to process.

“There are things we can’t unsee,” he said.

And the years-long process of grieving has only just begun. After an initial rush of volunteer support, aid typically drops off, leaving those suffering with a feeling of loneliness, Barros-Lane told SAN. She called this the “grief cliff.” 

There’s no “right way” to grieve. But experts note that relating unique grief experiences to individual talents or interests can help. 

For Jensen and Daniel, building a memorial from rocks they’d found during search and rescue efforts became a perfect part of their grieving process. 

“Basically, this is our way of saying that the victims have gone back to heaven, but that they are also still part of the river,” Daniel said. 

It also helped the pair reconcile complicated emotions about the river. 

“We’ve got this one special spot that we go to,” said Jensen, who continues to wonder how a place as beautiful as the Guadalupe could also be “so destructive.” 

They emphasized the importance of understanding the river, rather than being angry at nature itself. 

How can art help people work through trauma?

As an artist who lives in Lufkin, Texas, Jeanelle McCall chose to express grief felt across generations by writing a children’s book. Her book, “Stuffie and the Great Flood,” is inspired by a true story from the Guadalupe River flood told through the eyes of a young girl and her stuffed bunny. McCall hopes it will provide comfort to children affected by the flood, and also raise money to rebuild the home of her elderly aunt, Betty Mason. 

“I deal with my grief through art,” McCall told SAN. 

McCall is not alone in expressing her experience through art. 

“There are so many things about art therapy that are unique. It gives people a non-verbal, safe way to approach and explore difficult feelings and experiences,” said Sarah Vollmann, a board-certified, registered art therapist and faculty member at the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition. 

Art therapy services can help disaster survivors who are grieving while also experiencing acute trauma because it provides a nonverbal, creative pathway to process overwhelming emotions that may be difficult to express verbally, Vollmann said. She urges disaster survivors to pursue art therapy services individually or in a group setting if possible. 

“People on the frontlines of grief need ways to soothe and ground themselves. Art can do that,” Vollmann told SAN. 

Different creative materials can help people cope in different ways, she said. People who are grieving without the help of a professional therapist should focus on comforting, grounding materials, she said. She recommends sewing, knitting or coloring, which can be physically soothing and have meditative qualities.

Taking time to process grief is important, according to researchers at Stanford University. Rather than “getting over” the loss, grief clinicians advocate for slowly integrating the new reality. For those impacted by disaster, this new reality happens in the most literal sense, as whole communities must rebuild from bedrock. 

Doing this well requires patience. Barros-Lane urges communities to be protective and understanding of affected members, and not to offer help too generally or ask for too much energy from an affected community member when offering help.

“It’s really important to respect their autonomy, and to not be offended if someone refuses your help. Make short, specific offers, like ‘would you like me to bring you a meal’?” Barros-Lane told SAN. 

Delegating “help logistics” is another worthy effort, according to Barros-Lane. This can ensure survivor families and others in impacted areas are not left to try to handle logistics in the physiologically altered state of grief.