Sen. Klobuchar Denies Saying Sydney Sweeney Has ‘Perfect Titties’

Senator Amy Klobuchar (D-MN) has taken to the NY Times to slam “deepfakes” – after a video emerged in which she appears to declare that Sydney Sweeney has ‘perfect titties.’ (also, definitely don’t go on X and search for “perfect titties”)… 

“The A.I. deepfake featured me using the phrase ‘perfect t-tties’ and lamenting that Democrats were “too fat to wear jeans or too ugly to go outside,” Klobuchar wrote. “Though I could immediately tell that someone used footage from the hearing to make a deepfake, there was no getting around the fact that it looked and sounded very real.” (that only a complete retard would be fooled by).

“If Republicans are gonna have beautiful girls with perfect t-tties in their ads, we want ads for Democrats too, you know?” she ‘says’ in the deepfake. 

“We want ugly, fat bitches wearing pink wigs and long-ass fake nails being loud and twerking on top of a cop car at a Waffle House because they didn’t get extra ketchup, you know?

“Just because we’re the party of ugly people doesn’t mean we can’t be featured in ads, OK? And I know most of us are too fat to wear jeans or too ugly to go outside, but we want representation.”

Meanwhile, here are the results of some serious journalism to determine if in fact Sweeney has perfect titties…

Wait, what? Should probably click on this to investigate…