I have the freedom to stay retired but a dream job is pulling me back

It’s hard to accept the reality in the FIRE world that there have to be trade-offs from time to time between financial and work fulfillment. For most people in this space, they can’t wait to get out of the workforce and never stop to worry about whether or not they love their job. 

For a Redditor posting in r/fatFIRE, they have the good luck of already being in a great financial position, but are stuck between leaving the workforce now or accepting a dream job. It’s admittedly a terrible position to be in, but also one of great privilege, and it does lead to questions about regret. 

Choosing The Dream Job or Family 

In the case of this 40-something Redditor, they rightfully acknowledge they have the good fortune of already doubling their FIRE number. Unfortunately, we don’t get specifics on the math, but it’s great news for this Redditor to not only have hit their financial goals, but to have doubled the number they thought they needed to stop working forever. 

Under normal circumstances, this would have been fantastic news for someone who should be planning to walk away from the workforce for good. Instead, they are trying to look at this from two perspectives, and each perspective has its advantages and disadvantages. 

On the plus side, the Redditor can walk away and live out a fantastic life, going to every kid’s activity, traveling, and doing everything a retiree dreams of doing. The challenge is that this Redditor has also been presented with a rewarding “dream job” that would take away from the family time and flexibility that they know they will value greatly. 

The concern is that they don’t know what to do, as there is a “what if” question that, if they don’t take the job, five years from now, they will regret not taking it. The alternative is not taking the job and adding a few more weeks of vacation and a whole kids’ baseball practice schedule to their calendar. 

This indecision has led the Redditor to ask in the fatFIRE community how anyone else might have handled this situation and where they ended up. 

What To Do Next

Ultimately, there is no easy answer here as the Redditor can’t have it both ways, as they either need to take the job and roll the dice or live for their children and retirement life. This really comes down to a question of what they want more in life: family or professional fulfillment? It’s a difficult truth to accept, but these are sometimes mutually exclusive in that you can’t have your cake and eat it too. 

Thankfully, the Redditor acknowledges that if they had to choose, “gun to head,” it would be the family. This is the right choice, of course, but this isn’t a situation where a metaphorical gun is to someone’s head. 

A lot of Redditors chime in that going back to work means missing too much, while a few other Redditors indicate that the kids are young enough not to remember what activities their parents did or did not attend. 

At the end of the day, there is only one person who can answer the question of what is most important to this Redditor. 

Money Isn’t Everything

Knowing that this Redditor is already sitting on double the amount of money they originally believed they needed to retire, it begs the question of what is missing in their life. Any decision around this dream job can’t be about money, as money isn’t a factor in the family’s life right now. 

Instead, it seems like something else is missing in this Redditor’s life that their current consulting work isn’t providing them. Yes, they could give this job a shot and walk away, but this, too, might end up in a similar situation where there is a lot of regret. 

If the Redditor had teenagers who are independent and capable of doing things on their own, this would be an entirely different argument. However, given that the children are young and that life could end tomorrow, this Redditor should take advantage of his already outstanding financial success and focus on being a good father and husband for now. 

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