Forget foreign policy, inflation, or the immigration enforcement. President Donald J. Trump is focused on the REAL emergency in America: a ballroom deficiency at the White House.
After years of unsightly tents ruining the White House’s curb appeal, Trump has ordered the construction of a 90,000-square-foot state ballroom to seat 650 of his closest friends – because clearly, the East Room’s paltry 200-person capacity is so Obama.
Trump picked McCrery Architects, famed for their classical flair, to help with the ballroom’s design. And just in case anyone thought taxpayers would be footing the bill, that’s a big N-O. Trump and “patriot donors” will pick up the $200 million tab, proving this time that MAGA means Make Architecture Grand Again.
White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles gushed in the press release, “President Trump is a builder at heart.” We all know how he loves to cover everything in gold and put his name on everything he can find. And now? He’s slapping it on the People’s House – with style.
The actual name of the ballroom? The “White House State Ballroom.” That’s WAAAAAY too boring. I think Trump should go all in and name it after himself – maybe call it the “Orange Man Bad Ballroom” or something equally on brand. Or maybe one of these gems…
• The Liberty Ballroom
• Trump Grand Ballroom
• The MAGA Hall
• Trump’s Hall of Greatness
• The Covfefe Room
Construction starts September 2025 and is expected to finish well before the end of Trump’s term. So prepare yourselves, America: the White House isn’t just getting an upgrade. It’s getting a glow-up.
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Author: Liberty Paige
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