The Path to Glory: Sister Judith Mendes da Costa O.P. Part II

Sister Judith In the concentration camp

Sister Judith continues,

We went to the police station in Bilthoven, where I had to get out. ‘Go inside,otherwise you will get so many looks’, said one of the detectives, who was carrying my suitcase. There were already a few gentlemen and ladies in the room with stars on them. I myself was also wearing one on my black cloak, which the Prioress had pinned on at the last moment. I thought: ‘Yes, now I am among Jews
again’. But it turned out to be different! ‘Luckily’, said a lady to her husband, ‘that I first went to Holy Mass and took communion. Now I can at least handle it!’ It was a revelation to me! “Also Catholic”, it cheered inside me”. More and more Catholic Jews were gathered inside and outside the police station. All were taken by bus to the Hollandse Schouwburg in Amsterdam. When the bus started moving, a strong male voice asked, “Are everyone here Catholic?” “Yes”, it sounded like one mouth. A lady from Maartensdijk dressed in black knelt down next to me and asked: “Sister, may I kiss your Cross?” I handed it to her and gave her a cross on her forehead! Then a little boy followed, who was sitting next to his Mother. She was crying and kept casting sad looks at me and indicated with her eyes that she felt so bad for me. The little boy said, “Mother says that I should ask you if I may kiss your Cross”. “Are you Catholic?” I asked. “No”, he said, “my Mother is”. I gave him the Cross and also marked his forehead with a cross.

Sister Judith encouraged herself “Don’t worry about the time. Enjoy the moment”.

She also found comfort in a quote from the texts of Saint John of the Cross: “Don’t be too depressed by sad circumstances, because you never know how, through a secret arrangement of God, your sorrow can change into joy and lead to your eternal salvation”. When the situation became more critical, she drew strength from the sentence, “If you have to face something difficult, go to it as to a wedding!”

In the Hollandse Schouwburg the detainees were taken to the theatre hall. About 200 Catholic Jews had been brought together here. Sister Judith was the only religious one among them. A gentleman said to her, “Sister, we have no priest. You now represent the church to us!” Father Reuzenaar from the Waterlooplein entered the theatre. Sister Judith says,” He shook my hand and asked me if I knew if there were people there who would like to confess. I answered that I did not know and that it was also difficult to ask. “I think it would be best if you didn’t stay and talk to me, but walked back and forth through the hall. Then they will come to you if they want to talk to you”.

The Father thought it was fine and I went back to the people. “Sister, do you know that Father?”, they asked. “No, but he asked if I knew if any of you would like to confess and I answered that I could hardly ask that and that the Father should just walk back and forth, then you would come if anyone wanted to”. Immediately a young lady stood up, walked towards the Father and they sat down next to each other in the first row of stalls, on the left. Later the young woman came to me. “Oh, Sister, how glad I am that you said that about confessing. If I hadn’t known, I would never have dared!” She went to her Mother and I left them alone. Even more people went to confess in the stalls.

A good, even jovial atmosphere prevailed in the theatre. The prisoners supported each other. Sister Judith distracted the people by telling jokes and praying the rosary. The guards were entrusted to the military police, who came to check from time to time. Sister Judith went to bed at 9 p.m.

In the morning at a quarter to five (I always get up that late or early) I woke up. It was getting dark and I thought, “Get out before the others, then you can go about your business freely!” No sooner said than done. With my coat on, I took my toiletries and clothes to the washroom, where I could dress in peace. Then I went downstairs to pray my morning prayer and Little Hours. Then came the meditation. We had breakfast together in the coffee room. We were given coffee with it.

In the afternoon, Sister Judith was even given permission to go to a convent of sisters (St. Hubertusgesticht) opposite the theatre, where a table had been set for her, she could pray in the chapel and all the sisters and children asked for prayer for the entire group. After half an hour she had to return to the theatre.

On Monday 3 August, towards the evening, an old Redemptorist priest from the Keizersgracht also arrived. He was committed to the release of Sister Judith. For this reason, she had to give the names of her four Portuguese grandparents. This visit also offered a few people the opportunity to confess. That evening, 200 non-Catholic Jews arrived who would be taken to Westerbork that night with this group of Catholic Jews. The Redemptorist priest had her brought fifty bars of chocolate. Packages and suitcases were brought into the theatre with items that the prisoners could take with them on their upcoming journey.

On Tuesday, August 4 at 1:00 in the morning, the group left the theater. Afraid of losing the group, the
Catholic Jews held on to each other. A man’s voice called out in the dark, “Where is the Sister! The Sister must stay close to us!” Sister Judith called out very calmly in response,” Here is the Sister, I am with you”. She realized again how important her presence was to the Catholics. “How good God is that He gave me, poor weak reed, strength for those people, which could comfort and cheer them up in that terribly black night”.

Together with other Jews, the group of Catholics took the tram to Central Station. Sister Judith
arrived in a compartment with the Westering family. This consisted of father, mother, a daughter who was a third-order member of St. Francis and a son who was in the novitiate of the Franciscans and had been picked up there.

The following night the others left, to face death in Auschwitz. Because Sister Judith was of Portuguese-Jewish descent, she was released on 15 August 1942. She broke down in tears. It was hard for her  to have to leave good friends in misery and to regain freedom alone ». She herself was given a year and a half’s respite. Between August 1942 and February 1944 she wrote her memoirs. She gave it the title, “Seized by God “. Sister Judith’s spiritual attitude and willingness to sacrifice is expressed in the words in which she looks back on her first deportation in August 1942. In her notes she called those fourteen days in Westerbork “My best time”.

One thought dominated her and made her willing to accept all suffering, “If I have to go to Germany, I will go as if to a wedding!” Sister Judith lived in Westerbork full of confidence. She said a quick prayer to Mary “and the next moment I was completely at ease. How close Mother was here with me,
even though I did not see her. It was as if I felt her motherly protection”. On Thursday evening, August 6, the night before the First Friday, Sister Judith joined the prayers of her “beloved community” at the Holy Hour.

I relied on the prayers of my beloved community. I prayed a lot, alone and with the people. Yet I did not ask God to be released, because above all His Holy Will had to be accomplished in me. I said to Our Lord, ‘If I get a postponement, that is fine, if I have to go to Silesia, that is also fine. But if I can go back to ‘Berg en Bosch’ I will be very grateful to You, but I cannot ask You for it’.

The Hidden Meaning of the Suffering and Martyrdom of Sister Judith

Every human life has a meaning, every soul came into the world to fulfill its mission and become part of the plan of salvation. Let us try to comprehend the calling of Sister Judith. She was the youngest of seven children, Benjamin in her family. Benjamin is the son of Rachel, and she cried for her children, and there was no consolation. How can one not cry for those who died in the Holocaust, and there is no consolation? Rachel died giving birth to her son. Sister Judith died so that we could live.

The last child in a family is always special. Edith Stein was also the last child. The only child is also special, he is the first but also the last. This is a sign of the Messiah, that is, of salvation. Surprisingly, at the moment of their arrest, both Edith Stein and Judith Mendes utter the same phrase, ” Let
us go and die for our people”. The Jews never had human sacrifices. God only needs a “broken heart” as a sacrifice, as the psalm 51 says. However, a person can dedicate his suffering to the Almighty and only then do they have any meaning.

Providence was pleased to give Sister Judith an installment plan of almost two years. What is surprising is that the abbess of her monastery answers the Gestapo, “She is a Catholic” on the question “Are you Jewish?” The torturers continue, “Are all four of your grandparents Jewish?”, and the
sister answers yes. Can she renounce her Jewishness? Of course not, because her ancestors fled Portugal precisely because they refused baptism in the name of saving their lives and preferred exile.

Loyalty to her family history is the lesson for Sister Judith. And it is not the racial laws by which the Gestapo operates. Loyalty to one’s calling. She became a Catholic because she believed Christ was the Messiah. It is amazing how many women became witnesses during the Holocaust. In Holland alone, how many wonderful names can be mentioned. Of course, the most famous among them is Anne Frank. This German girl became a classic of Dutch literature and her own path was full of spiritual quests. Unfortunately, we do not know where it would have led her. One thing is for sure — she could have lived to this day. Etty Hilsum, who searched for the meaning of life and came to reconciliation with her family against whom she rebelled all her youth and with her tormentors on the train going to Westerbork, as her last postcard testifies. The most famous, the “icon” and Saint Edith Stein, who gave comfort to everyone in the last minute of her life.

And finally, the heroine of our article, Sister Judith. In modern debates about the role of women in the church, we think of these women. For us, they are the figure of Virgin Mary in the twentieth century. Mary was alone when she took on the mission to give birth to the Messiah. She was alone before him when he was crucified. She was the only one who preserved in her heart the faith of all Israel in the imminent coming of the Messiah. The life of Sister Judith between her arrest in 1942 and her death in 1944 was an absolute reflection of the sufferings of Mary.

I am haunted by the thought that Catholic Jews in Holland, France and Poland, did you know that there was a synagogue of Messianic Jews in the Warsaw Ghetto? were completely incomprehensible to their non-Jewish environment. Their suffering during the Holocaust coincides down to the smallest detail with the suffering of the one they considered their savior. The non-Jewish environment rejoiced at the coming to church of Edith Stein and Sister Judith. But did they understand that they did not renounce their Jewishness but considered their coming to church the fulfillment of all the prophecies given to the Jewish people? Why did no one do anything to save them? Did they believe that baptism saves from persecution? But then their conversion would have been insincere.

Judas betrayed Christ, he was one of the twelve. He already wanted to take a place next to the savior in the kingdom of heaven. But our kingdom is not of this world. That is the only reason Judas betrayed Christ. What could be more otherworldly than a Jew who professes Christ as the Messiah?

So that the sacrifice of Edith Stein and Sister Judith was not in vain, we must understand what exactly they gave their lives for. They gave their lives for the Jerusalem church, as it was at the beginning of Christianity. The dispersion led to its end. The twentieth century became the messianic time when the impossible became possible. So that the memory of these martyrs will be a blessing, we will work on what they dreamed of —the unity of all Israel.