Following President Trump’s grand order for a June 14 blowout bash celebrating both the U.S. Army and his birthday, he has also announced a full slate of national holidays for the remainder of 2025 – each one designed to “honor America’s greatness” (i.e. the greatness of Donald J. Trump).
According to an exclusive press release printed in gold ink and distributed via a Trump- branded drone (that plays YMCA), the newly declared observances that are coming up include:
July 15 – National Best Hair Day
To commemorate the day Trump first “realized how truly magnificent his hair was.” Americans are encouraged to wear their finest wigs, toupees, or golf visors and post selfies under the hashtag #FolliclesOfFreedom.
August 24 – National Mugshot Appreciation Day
A new federal holiday where citizens are required to get professional portraits taken in front of gray backdrops, “just to see how they’d look as political prisoners,” Trump said. All proceeds benefit the Trump Legal Defense & Fundraising & Golf Cart Repair PAC.
December 25 – Trumpmas
Christmas will be rebranded “Trumpmas” and will focus less on giving and more on getting. Presents must be wrapped in red, white, and gold and placed under a tree adorned with MAGA ornaments and a golden combover topper. Midnight services at Trump Tower chapel to include readings from The Art of the Deal.
January 6 – Electoral Victory Appreciation Week (EVAW)
A full week devoted to reliving Trump’s “totally legitimate” 2020 win and celebrating his 2024 win. Activities include rewatching January 6th committee footage with director’s commentary from Steve Bannon and decorating mailboxes with mini Trump flags.
The post The Orange Menace Declares 2025 the Year of Trump: Birthday Bash Just the Beginning of a Glorious Self-Celebration Calendar appeared first on Steve Gruber.
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Author: Liberty Paige
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