Tired of swiping? Matchmakers make a modern comeback

Aug. 31 doesn’t just mark the end of the month — it’s also National Matchmaking Day, a time to celebrate those in pursuit of love. Seen in movies like this summer’s “Materialists,” matchmakers offer services such as photography, date coaching, date planning and in-depth screenings.

“I like to tell people I’ve been matchmaking my whole life,” Kat Markiewicz, a matchmaker at Three Day Rule, said in an interview with Straight Arrow News. She’s been setting up friends and introducing people since middle school and writing and researching about relationships since college. 

It was after getting her masters in marriage and family therapy that Markiewicz realized she liked bringing people together.

Modern matchmaking

So what is a day in the life of a matchmaker like? 

“I spend most of my days taking meetings with potential matches,” Markiewicz said. This means 20-30 minute meetings with people over Zoom, getting to know all about them, their background and relationship history.

“What are their must haves in a relationship? What are their deal breakers? And if there’s no major incompatibilities, then that’s sort of when the matchmaker intuition comes in a little bit, and we say, who would be the best fit here?” Markiewicz said.

For the most part, she says, she’s looking for two people whose long-term values align. There’s the obvious values — politics, religious beliefs. But Markiewicz said she also looks out for other aspects of peoples’ personalities.

“It might be just sense of humor, or she says she likes dad jokes and he makes a dad joke. It might be that they both have the same deal breaker, or they are both obsessed with the same breed of dog,” Markiewicz said. “It might be a little thing that comes up in a meeting where I go, ‘Hmm, this could really work.’”

When she finds two compatible people interested in meeting each other, Markiewicz makes the match. Then comes the post-date feedback calls, where she hears from her client and the match about how everything went. 

Matchmaking services are a financial investment, with some costing hundreds to thousands of dollars. But there’s a reason people are still turning to them.

Dating app burnout

“People are really burnt out on the apps,” Markiewicz said. “I think they’re feeling really frustrated and defeated. There’s a lot of ghosting, there’s a lot of disrespect, there’s a lot of flakiness, and honestly, there these days, I think there’s a lot of cruelty.”

Added Markiewicz: “I think we are seeing younger and younger people turning to matchmakers because they’ve been on the apps maybe like, 3,4,5, years, they haven’t found their person.”

That doesn’t mean matchmakers turn up their nose completely at dating apps. Matchmakers can help someone improve their profiles, select better photos and expand their options, Markiewicz said. And if they want to stay away from the apps completely, matchmakers take the reins. 

Matchmaking as a job has some ups and downs, Markiewicz said — “we sort of see it all.” 

When a couple works out though, the joy among matchmakers is palpable. 

“On our team, we celebrate every time a client goes on a trip with their match…every time a client gets into a long term relationship, when they move in together, engaged, married, babies,” Markiewicz said. “We truly love what we do.”