Reports confirm that NFL star Travis Kelce spent months cooking up extreme ways to propose to superstar Taylor Swift, only to settle on a “boring” kneel-and-ring combo in a quiet garden setting after realizing most of his ideas would’ve required NASA-level clearance and a small country’s GDP.
“Look, I love Taylor,” Kelce told reporters. “But at some point, you realize flying in on a blimp shaped like a friendship bracelet while 80,000 fans spell out ‘MARRY ME’ in synchronized light-up bracelets is maybe… a little much.”
Sources say Kelce’s rejected plans included:
- Renting out Arrowhead Stadium for a fake Chiefs “practice,” then having the entire offensive line spell out “YES” with their massive bodies while Mahomes threw him the ring in a perfect spiral.
- Proposing during a live Eras Tour performance – but having both Donald Trump and Joe Biden rappel from the rafters in tuxedos holding two rings for Swift to choose from.
- A diamond-studded goat that Swift would ride off on into the sunset (sponsored by State Farm, naturally).
NFL insiders say Kelce was this close to hiring NASA to launch a ring-shaped satellite that would spell “WILL YOU MARRY ME” in orbit. “Travis even had Elon Musk on standby,” said a teammate. “It was gonna be like the Super Bowl only with less football.”
Swift reportedly told Kelce about a year ago that if he popped the question someday, she preferred “something simple and heartfelt,” prompting him to cancel a live bald eagle release, a 200-piece marching band, and a fireworks display big enough to be seen from space.
“She’s the down-to-earth one,” Kelce said about Swift. “Meanwhile, I’ve been Googling ‘how much does it cost to borrow Mount Rushmore for a day.’”
At press time, Kelce was reportedly shopping for wedding venues and strongly considering either “a small private ceremony” or “the entire NFL Draft stage, but covered in glitter.”
The post Travis Kelce Narrowly Rejects Alternate Taylor Swift Proposal Plans Involving Live Bald Eagles and The Entire Kansas City Offensive Line appeared first on Steve Gruber.
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