Surviving Is Resisting: A Day in Venezuela

Life in Venezuela is not for the faint of heart, especially for a single father.

The choices regarding where we go can hardly be considered “poor”. What “smart” choices can you make when you don’t have any money to buy an airfare ticket, much less to live 5 months in a different country where you don’t know anybody, and don’t have papers to work?

A couple of condescending guys I know had the gall to criticize my decision to return home without knowing my family situation, or even bothering to ask. Go figure…

I guess they are the kind of people who believe money can fix everything. For them, sending money to their elders so they can live in relative comfort is more than enough. They pay no mind to the fact that those elders live in constant fear of never seeing their grandchildren again, or that they go to sleep each night with the haunting feeling that the last visit of their offspring might have truly been the last one.

That is selfish, and, to me, a poor choice indeed. I was criticized enough by guys who told me, “But if you don’t go to work abroad and send them money, your parents are going to have a hard time.” I know them. They already suffered a lot (all of us) while the kiddo and I were abroad, and it affected us all. Including my kid. Maybe money is not abundant these days, but knowing we are safe at home, and playing with our cats, having our afternoon coffee…those are the little things that make things worthwhile at the end of the day for them.

I will put a little personal information here. Not every decision you make has to be necessarily “prepping” related, guys. We have a life to live after all, and loved beings around us. I found Rowan’s article about this quite interesting, by the way.

I don’t want any kind of weight on my soul. If anything happens to my elder folks, still strong but aging, I need my kiddo to have at least the opportunity to say goodbye and be with them until the end. Otherwise, I am afraid he will build emotional walls that, later in life, will be very difficult to overcome. Being the life-loving biker I am, I am not allowing that. We are here to love, live, and ride free, guys. Prepping for the worst, sure, but hoping for the best.

From being underemployed in a foreign country, penniless and jobless, to my place, where all my belongings and goods are, where I have lived happily for more than 20 years.

I try to navigate through my days with resilience, mostly for my son. He is the reason that keeps me going, and I constantly think about how to give him at least the same opportunities I had, or better ones. Unemployed, yes, but not defeated at all, I go through my daily routine because I know this will pass, too. Being in my own environment keeps me more or less sane, avoiding those dark, depressive moments that were so frequent in Lima. The days without sun, endless working hours in an unknown country, including Saturdays until 3 pm, packed in a train 80 minutes a day to come and go from work to my rented room in a poor barrio…it was something you had to experience to appreciate all the good things you had. Not too easy to explain, but I am happy it is all over now.

The challenges now are quite different, but at least in known playgrounds with people who speak my language. Peruvians were usually polite, but not all of them. Most of the people I met there came back or left that country.

Morning repairs, housekeeping, and hot coffee

Each day begins at sunrise. Maybe even before, if I went to bed at a decent hour the night before. Of course, with a good mug of hot, steaming, strong coffee with cream made with powdered milk and boiling water. Before the city fully stirs, I have planned what to do throughout my day, usually after my morning prayers in my living room’s favorite armchair. The activities normally include some degree of handwork on my aging plumbing, sweeping the floors, preparing the rooms for rent, cooking, while mentally writing the next article or Patreon post. Leaky faucets or drain pipes under a sink, and rusted valves are no longer reasons to call a plumber. I’m not paying for something I can fix myself. They’re nothing but small challenges I tackle with my old tools and ingenuity.

I wipe down my floors after sweeping, rearrange furniture to keep it from water damage (there are a few roof leaks here and there that, with the windy, rainy days, are more evident), and jot down needed repairs in my tattered notebook. There’s no budget for a plumber, so I watch tutorials on my old little phone, often improvising solutions with tape, wire, PVC pipe, screws to fasten things, and add in a lot of patience.

Cooking with purpose

By midmorning, after checking the news, hunger becomes unavoidable. I am used to preparing simple meals: rice, lentils, beans, slices of fried plantains, fried pork, or shredded meat. Foods are chosen not only for cost but for stretchability. If I don’t have cheese or eggs for breakfast, I can stretch a little and use some meat if I want. I try to ration the ingredients with surgical care, though, always trying to ingest the needed 150 grams of protein per day, but knowing they must last through the week.

Lunch is modest, and dinner lighter still. Some oatmeal, or a small boiled bun made with arepa dough, and some creamy cheese usually make the trick. I try to ingest enough oranges, at least one per day, before breakfast. I read that this way, the vitamins are easily absorbed. Fiber and Vitamin C, for one buck per 5 units. Not a bad deal. Avocado is now at 2$ per kilo. Half a kilo will give me three rations. To make a delicious and easy meal, I spread it on homemade bread and put some soft, creamy cheese on top.

Caring for the home

Cleaning is more than a chore. It’s a way to preserve a pleasant environment and, at the same time, distract my mind from repetitive thoughts. I am not exactly your anxiety-prone man. But I do know that many people are suffering from it lately. You would be surprised how easily these thoughts attack us when you are not busy working.

Every morning, I sweep the house a little with the main door open so the sun can enter to “bless the house”, and scrub the porch and entrance tiles. There are not too many old clothes to “repurpose” as cleaning rags. A small corner of his living room is my quiet space for reflection, with some books I have salvaged or bought online and from street sellers. Sadly, not too many second-hand book sellers in this city. If you need some reading about anxiety control, you may want to check this book.

Responsibility weighs

I wake up sometimes with a knot in my stomach. Not exactly from hunger, but from the pressure of providing when there’s little to give. The absence of stable work casts a very real shadow.

This implies one is constantly calculating what more we could do, second-guessing yesterday’s choices, and searching for ways to stretch the food as well as the hope.

I usually don’t exhibit what worries me. But the questions are there. What will tomorrow bring us? Will he have enough food? Will the lights stay on long enough so my dad can repair that part? This uncertainty gnaws at every corner. We learn to hide it, indeed, from one another and also from kiddo, behind a facade, and try to make it to the next day. Always giving thanks for all the blessings!

Mental fatigue and isolation

Without colleagues or coworkers, I find myself in a kind of social fog. Conversations with neighbors are brief, often practical. Emotional connection these days feels like a luxury, and a heavy, shady loneliness looms in the silence present between the simple tasks at home.

That is why I usually turn on my radio or listen to YouTube when sitting at my desktop. I have to force myself to go out, even if it is for a cup of coffee with the neighbor.

Writing sometimes fills that void, not just for income but as a form of self-therapy, a way to communicate with others.

The worst feeling these days is the guilt for feeling exhausted. As if resilience must always look strong. But weariness creeps in from the mental juggling of survival. My life is a constant sequence of managing repairs: roof leaks with whatever I have at hand, rationing my meals, parenting, and writing, with little rest in between. After putting the bike to work, but without any budget for more parts or even changing the fluids, I am going to collect and clean the SUV engine parts, sorting them out to make the assembly process easier. Can’t do much more with the limited tools I have.

This helps a lot to keep my mind occupied, also. This way, the isolation is not so overwhelming. I can perfectly understand why some characters in the movies snap and lose it. And I can also see why others are paralyzed by analysis. This book (free on Kindle Unlimited) gives a good vision of some of the psychological aspects of prepping. And number 4 in this list by Daisy has helped me a lot, too!

Hope is rebellion.

In the face of this humbling scarcity, emotional resilience is itself a protest. Every small gesture, like washing clothes by hand or preserving a sense of order at home, is a silent declaration I make that shouts, “We may have little, but we are not broken.” Clinging to the idea that writing in English may one day offer a bridge to connection, to opportunity, to being understood, and to tell a story of hope.

Stay safe, and keep tuned, people!

Love you all.

J.

About Jose

Jose is an upper middle class professional. He is a former worker of the oil state company with a Bachelor’s degree from one of the best national Universities. He has an old but in good shape SUV, a good 150 square meters house in a nice neighborhood, in a small but (formerly) prosperous city with two middle size malls. Jose is a prepper and shares his eyewitness accounts and survival stories from the collapse of his beloved Venezuela. Jose and his younger kid are currently back in Venezuela, after the intention of setting up a new life in another country didn’t  go well. The SARSCOV2 re-shaped the labor market and South American economy so he decided to give it a try to homestead in the mountains, and make a living as best as possible. But this time in his own land, and surrounded by family, friends and acquaintances, with all the gear and equipment collected, as the initial plan was.

 Follow Jose on YouTube and gain access to his exclusive content on Patreon. Donations: paypal.me/JoseM151

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