“I identify as v-ccinated” passport sales jump 1000% after Biden’s announcement about who has to wear masks

After Biden announced his new dictate on masks, a company that sells “COVID-19 Vaccination Passports,” American Freedom Passport, saw their business boom. It is pure genius. We are told that sales jumped by 1000% after Biden made his announcement. 

WASHINGTON, DC- This folks is what you call true “leadership.” Do what I say, or I will crush you.

That’s leadership under the current occupant of the White House, Joe Biden. After 14 months of dyslexic policies coming from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), all of a sudden on Thursday they decided that it was no longer a requirement to wear masks…unless you haven’t been vaccinated.

That was the dictate from Biden, who apparently woke up from nappy time long enough to come down from on high and let the little people know what most normal Americans have known for months. That you do not need masks.

Of course, Biden made sure that everyone knows that he’s in charge.

In a tweet, Biden issued his command:

“After a year of hard work and so much sacrifice, the rule is now simple: get vaccinated or wear a mask until you do.”

Go pound sand, Joe. Can you imagine what the reaction would be from the far left if such a tweet (that’s right, the Twitter overlords banned him) had come from Donald Trump? The leftist wackos would be in full meltdown mode. So our answer is this: we “identify” as being vaccinated. 

Then, Kamala Harris weighed in (still say Biden shouldn’t walk down the stairs in front of her):

Funny…Kamala Harris all of a sudden worried about “community”…like when she encouraged people to bail out rioting thugs in Minneapolis who were destroying that community. 

Of course, Biden’s tweet begs the question: If people are vaccinated, who gives a flying you know what if other people are not? After all, the vaccine, we are told is supposed to protect one from the coronavirus. If someone chooses not to get vaccinated, the only one they pose a risk to is either themselves, or other people who have likewise chosen not to get the shot. You know, my body, my choice? Where have we heard that before?

Also, does anyone else find the timing of this announcement a bit…suspicious? 

The whole southeastern United States almost ran completely out of gas, inflation is going through the roof, gas prices are out of control, the Middle East is about to turn into all out war…and all of a sudden Biden decides to lift the mask mandate? How…weird…is…that! 

Of course, the Karen’s out in general population scream, “THAT’S DIFFERENT!” Well actually, no it isn’t. “My body, my choice,” in both instances affects the person making the decision and another person. So be it an unborn child, or another adult, there is literally no difference.

And they called Donald Trump a dictator. Biden has taken dictatorship to a whole other level, running the country by executive fiat instead of using a bicameral legislature like our country is supposed to be run. Some replies to Sleepy Joe’s tweet were on point:

The CDC also released a discombobulated graphic:

So, this got us to thinking. We live in 2021, where anything goes.

Anyone can identify as anything they want…those are the new rules, right? Men identify as women, women identify as men, white people identify as black people, Jimmy Kimmel and Steven Colbert identify as comedians, the women of The View identify as…women…pretty much anything goes, good time rock and roll.

So, what if we choose to identify as someone who’s been vaccinated? Who’s going to know whether I’ve been vaccinated or not? HIPAA tells us that we do not have to disclose personal medical information to anyone except those whom we choose to.

After Biden announced his new dictate on masks, a company that sells “COVID-19 Vaccination Passports,” American Freedom Passport, saw their business boom. It is pure genius. We are told that sales jumped by 1000% after Biden made his announcement. 

As the website says, “Identify as being vaccinated today and let’s save America!”

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So all of this of course begs the question…how is anyone supposed to know who is vaccinated and who is not? In Connecticut, Gov. Ned Lamont said it’s going to be done on the “honor system.” 

“I promise Uncle Ned. I’m vaccinated!”

The “Identify as Vaccinated” idea is phenomenal. 

We would identify the genius that came up with this idea, which frankly is right up there with the internal combustion engine and the mute button when Nancy Pelosi speaks, but he’s been receiving death threats from unhinged leftists who like the idea of government ruling with an iron fist.

Probably people that have posters of Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer on their walls and wear Che Guevera t-shirts because he “looks so cool.” So we’ll call him “Andy Vaxxer (see what we did there?).

Andy told Law Enforcement Today that he came up with the idea after seeing where 6’6″ men are identifying as 5’4″ females so they can play women’s sports. It was a natural extension to take that absurdity and transfer it to vaccinations. 

Andy made sure to tell us that he is selling these not as a means to misrepresent actually being vaccinated. As he told us, “Let’s not be confused with those people.” 

You know “those people,” right? The ones that virtue signal on Fakebook or Twitter, with a frame on their profile picture that says, “I’m vaccinated! Tell me what a patriotic American I am like Joe says!” 

Andy also referred to the vaccination Mafia as “people who wear masks alone in their Prius and wear condoms alone in bed at night.” 

These “identify as vaccinated” passports are pure genius. It’s a great way to tweak woke leftists, who scream “my body, my choice” when it comes to murdering children in the womb, but say it’s un-American not to get vaccinated, or wear three face diapers. 

This is also a great way to fight back at the absurdity of some businesses, who despite the CDC guidance still say they’re going to require masks for people who aren’t vaccinated. Want proof? “Here’s my “identify as vaccinated passport.” Hey, if you can identify as the opposite sex, or as a Doberman Pinscher, why can’t you identify as being vaccinated? 

“Hey, we figured if Joe Biden can identify as president, Nancy Pelosi can identify as sane, and Brian Stelter can identify as a journalist, why can’t people identify as being vaccinated?” Andy said. 

Andy told us that people have been especially excited about the “Vaccination ‘Passport’ Book,” which includes patriotic images, a picture of Mount Rushmore with President Trump included (sure to trigger left-wing loons everywhere), and a caption reading, “Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.” 

The book also has the Preamble to the United States Constitution, and a letter from a Dr. Seuss-inspired “doctor” named “Uncle Sam I Yam,” reading as follows:

“You do not even have to ask

“I do not want to wear a mask….

“I do not want to live in fear

“Last I checked there’s freedom here…

“‘My body, my choice,’ the liberals told us

“Except if we’re scared they also then told us…

“And so as the ‘doctor’ I’m simply here to say

“This passport carrier identifies as vaccinated today….

“-Dr. Zeus (Earned ‘medical’ and ‘law’ degrees on Facebook like millions of other know-it-alls.)”

The purpose of  course aside from mocking absurdity by being absurd was to trigger the leftists. Andy said he was called “an anarchist, enemy of the state and a domestic terrorist.” That was likely written by an Antifa latte-swilling soy boy from his mom’s computer in the basement as he manufactured Molotov cocktails to throw at the Portland federal courthouse. 

Then of course there was the anti-cop post, probably written by a butch-looking fat chick with purple hair, “You must be a cop. Obviously you believe in killing innocent people.” The hate is strong with these lunatics. 

One even suggested a hanging on “public television for trying to infect America.” Yeah, the only problem with that is there would only be about 100 people watching it at any given time. 

Andy’s final shot to trigger the wokesters? When asked what he was going to do with the proceeds from selling the vaccine “passports,” he mentioned two topics that trigger the moonbats–guns and Jesus. 

“Use it to buy guns and shake hands with people and travel the country talking about Jesus.” 

And leftists heads exploded across the USA. 

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Author: Patrick Henry


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