Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.
But this is Florida we’re talking about here.
And a Florida man caught committing one crime that left police officers shaking their heads.
A trip to Walmart turned into a disaster for this repeat offender
Walmart stores carry just about everything under the sun.
From groceries to automotive services to electronics, the retail giant has become a one-stop shopping destination for millions of Americans.
But 40-year-old Jeffrey Laforge discovered that they also carry items that caught his attention for all the wrong reasons.
Laforge was arrested on Friday and charged with felony theft after surveillance cameras caught him red-handed during two separate visits to a Walmart in South Pasadena, Florida.
The security footage showed Laforge casually walking through the store’s adult health section before removing various items from their packaging.
He then walked out of the store without paying for any of the merchandise.
The total value of the stolen goods was just under $300, but it wasn’t the dollar amount that made this case unusual.
Among the items listed in the police report were adult toys including a $31.44 “tush toy,” a $14.98 “oral stroker,” several vibrators, and flavored lubricant.
But here’s where it gets weird.
Laforge also swiped a $3.98 Reese’s peanut butter ice cream during his shopping spree.
Police haven’t explained how the ice cream fits into whatever plans this guy had for his evening, but we’re probably better off not knowing.
Prior convictions turned misdemeanor into felony charges
Under normal circumstances, stealing merchandise worth less than $1,000 would be charged as a misdemeanor in Florida.
But Laforge’s extensive history of theft convictions changed everything.
“Since the merchandise was valued at less than $1000, the sex toy thefts would normally be charged as a misdemeanor. However, owing to Laforge’s history of multiple theft convictions, the counts have been enhanced to felonies,” The Smoking Gun reported.¹
The repeat offender is now sitting in jail on a $10,000 bond while he waits for his court appearance.
It’s unclear whether Laforge intended to use the stolen items himself or try to resell them, though the fact that he removed them from their packaging suggests the former.
Good luck trying to sell adult toys without any packaging to someone who doesn’t know where they came from.
This isn’t your average shoplifting case
Store security cameras don’t lie, and they captured Laforge’s entire operation from start to finish.
The footage showed him methodically removing items from their packaging in the adult health section before making his exit.
This wasn’t some spur-of-the-moment decision – it was a calculated theft that he carried out on two separate occasions.
The police report details the full list of stolen merchandise, highlighting just how extensive Walmart’s inventory has become.
Many regular shoppers probably don’t realize that their local Walmart carries such a wide variety of intimate products alongside the usual groceries and household items.
But Laforge clearly did his homework before making his move.
A career criminal’s plans went sideways
The South Pasadena Police Department didn’t have much trouble building their case against Laforge.
Between the security footage and his prior criminal history, this was pretty much an open-and-shut case.
“Store security cameras recorded Laforge removing the items from their packaging and then departing Walmart without paying for the pleasure devices,” according to the police report.²
Whatever plans Laforge had for his stolen merchandise and ice cream, they’re on hold indefinitely now.
The 40-year-old is facing serious felony charges that could result in significant jail time given his repeat offender status.
You’d think after multiple theft convictions, Laforge would’ve learned his lesson by now.
But here he is again, caught on camera doing something that’ll follow him around for the rest of his life.
What was he thinking? That nobody would notice him ripping open packages in the adult section?
The whole thing makes you wonder if this guy’s got any common sense left.
And now his face is all over the news for this embarrassing mess.
Talk about poor life choices.
This isn’t some mastermind criminal we’re dealing with here – this is a guy who couldn’t even steal ice cream without getting busted.
The whole situation would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.
¹ The Smoking Gun, “Man Busted For Sex Toy Heists At Walmart,” July 14, 2025.
² Ibid.
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Author: rgcory
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