What I like to do to honor Thanksgiving is think about all the things I should have, but don’t.
This year the theme is Bitcoin. Why don’t I have some? I was writing about Bitcoin back in 2014. I came back from a conference and laughed my head off at how silly it was. Money that doesn’t exist! I shook my head knowingly with fellow Berkeleyites. As if all our dollars really existed. As if I understood fungibility. Now, with Bitcoin about to hit $100,000 a pop, I think of the ways I would be thankful if I had a bunch of those, tons and tons of them. Everyone around me seems to have Bitcoin. My wife’s scruffy cousin appears to have a little pep in his step, doesn’t he? The teenager who doesn’t want to babysit this year, you say? I look at my children and then think of the times I almost bought Bitcoin and how thankful I would be to rewind the clock and move my one little finger to click BUY.
Anyway, I don’t have a lick of crypto. All I have is good food, good kids, a good wife, high cheekbones, and this column. And I’d trade nothing except the colicky baby for a Bitcoin. Also:
→ Dr. Jill Biden: After watching a funny short video that shows Joe Biden seeming to wander into an Amazon rainforest, I realized to my shock that Joe Biden is still there. He’s still standing at podiums looking translucent and confused, but technically upright. When I see him, every fiber in my body wants to put a blanket over his shoulders. And so this year, I’m thankful for our presumed president: Dr. Jill Biden.
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Author: Nellie Bowles
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