Claim: Taylor Lorenz is an “attractive young(er) woman.”
Who Said It: Taylor Lorenz. The former Washington Post tech columnist recently used these words to describe herself on Bluesky, the social media app for annoying liberals who think MSNBC is too right wing.
Context: Lorenz was attempting to explain why, in the words of another Bluesky user, she tends to “elicit all these extreme and obviously irrational reactions” from normal Americans. “Because I cover online influence (very well!), which is the one thing people want to amass more than anything,” Lorenz wrote. “I’m also an attractive young(er) woman who pushes progressive politics and speaks her mind, and that makes them irrationally angry for the reasons we’re all familiar with.”
In fact there are many reasons why people find Lorenz annoying. She supports government censorship to combat “disinformation” while repeatedly pushing false claims. She’s unusually obsessed with children who post online. (She left the New York Times in 2022 amid reports of a “blow-up” argument with star reporter Maggie Haberman, who took issue with Lorenz’s creepy coverage of Claudia Conway, the 15-year-old daughter of then-White House adviser Kellyanne Conway.) She insists on maintaining a hyper-online presence and broadcasting her obnoxious opinions—”The United States military is so evil,” she wrote on Monday—yet she constantly complains about being criticized and refuses to log off. She claims to suffer from “severe PTSD” related to the “horrifying” abuse inflicted upon her by “the worst people on the internet.”
The reason why people were particularly annoyed with Lorenz this past week was her post asserting that “Joe Biden is a war criminal who should never know peace.” It wasn’t the first time Lorenz called Biden a war criminal. Earlier this year, she accused the president—aka “Genocide Joe”—of being “complicit in mass death/disability” for pursuing “extreme far right policies” and ignoring the “ongoing” COVID-19 pandemic. In August, Lorenz posted an image on social media labeling Biden a “war criminal [frowny face],” then falsely accused her “dumbass” critics of being duped by an edited photo. That incident prompted a Washington Post review that ultimately led to Lorenz’s departure in October. When NPR media reporter David Folkenflik highlighted the false accusations in response to the most recent “war criminal” post, Lorenz accused him of being “so obsessed” with her. She reiterated her claim that the image from August was edited, but went on to say “Biden *is* a war criminal and I have NEVER changed my stance on that.” In a separate post, Lorenz clarified her view that “all U.S. presidents” are war criminals.
Further context: Lorenz’s claim of being an “attractive young(er) woman” is difficult to assess given the mysterious controversy surrounding a crucial detail: her actual age. An extensive Washington Free Beacon investigation determined that Lorenz was most likely born Oct. 21, 1984, which would make her 40 years old. Lorenz, who claims to abhor disinformation, has also claimed to be 3-10 years older. For example, in a recent post lashing out at professional data nerd Nate Silver, she referred to herself as a “50 yr old woman.” Our investigation further revealed that Lorenz has previously advocated for lying about one’s true age in order to elicit compliments. “[T]he move is to always tell ppl ur older or make them think ur older than you are so they’re constantly thinking ‘wow, she looks great for her age!'” she wrote in September 2020.
Analysis: While we are reasonably convinced that Lorenz is a “woman,” as she claimed, assessing her attractiveness is also more complicated than one might expect given her insistence on continuing to wear a face mask at public events—including the sixth annual Pornhub Awards in Los Angeles—presumably to protect herself from “Genocide Joe” and his refusal to keep the country locked down due to COVID-19.
Nevertheless, we managed to conduct a thorough analysis based on her unmasked photographs. Although the claim in question did not specify that Lorenz’s attractiveness be assessed in relation to her age group (40-50) and profession (journalism), our analysts did so anyway in the interest of fairness and accuracy. We also utilized artificial intelligence technology to enhance our ability to determined “relative attractiveness” in the context of various subgroups, including “people who unironically think Joe Biden is a war criminal,” which a previous Free Beacon investigation found to be a frighteningly unattractive demographic.
“Woman (aged 40-50) who thinks Biden is a war criminal” vs. Taylor Lorenz
“Female journalist (aged 40-50)” vs. Taylor Lorenz
“Attractive woman (aged 40-50)” vs. Taylor Lorenz
Verdict: Our analysts concluded that Lorenz is indeed somewhat attractive for a journalist in her approximate age group who is also a deranged liberal who thinks Joe Biden and all U.S. presidents are war criminals. That’s a very low bar, so we’re unable to verify this claim as true, especially in light of the mystery surrounding her age.
Our Rating: 2 Flaming Clintons.
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Author: Andrew Stiles
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